Archive - Burnout & Skidmark

New Fast & Furious Coaster Promises to Release 10 More Coasters

Theme park executives assure fans the rides will get louder, faster, and completely unrealistic.

Aug 29 •

ninetyoneoctane

Waymo Gets First Permit to Autonomously Annoy New York City

Officials say the self-driving cars will honk, block lanes, and generally act like they belong there.

Aug 28 •

ninetyoneoctane

🚨 BURNOUT & SKIDMARK #2 🚨

Be Careful Out There. They don’t signal, they barely brake, and they definitely don’t care.

Aug 27 •

ninetyoneoctane

Mecum Auction Allegedly Reopens Bidding After Declaring Car Sold Because Everything’s Made Up and the Points Don’t Matter

Critics say people shouldn't be outraged because it wasn't ever real to begin with.

Aug 26 •

ninetyoneoctane

Checo on Future with Cadillac: “Throw Some Ds on That B****”

The Ex-Red Bull driver insists Cadillac’s F1 entry will only be competitive once fitted with Ds

Aug 25 •

ninetyoneoctane

After Being Tuned With ChatGPT, Car Immediately Posts Craigslist Ad for Better Driver

Experts Fear This Proves AI Will Replace Us

Aug 24 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

Study Finds Need for Speed: Underground Still Leading Cause of Recognizing That One T.I. Song

Experts Confirm 92% of Players Can’t Name the Track, But Know Every Word

Aug 23 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

Subaru Launches New Line of Vape Flavors

Subaru Confirms This Time the Smoke Is Intentional

Aug 22 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

Enthusiast Finally Invests in Project Car, Buys Whole New Set of Jack Stands

Experts Say Upgraded Stands Should Support at Least Another Decade of Excuses

Aug 21 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

AE86 Voted Best Tofu Delivery Vehicle for 27th Straight Year

Experts Admit Testing Was Done With the Help of Lonely Drivers

Aug 20 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

Ford Mustang Caught Leaving Cars and Coffee Safely

Crowd Left Confused, Unsure Where to Run

Aug 19 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

Enthusiast Spends Hours Tuning Guitar, Shocked It Still Won’t Gap a Civic

Guitar Shows No Horsepower Gain After Full Tune

Aug 18 •

ninetyoneoctane

and

J.P. De La Tosón

#nojs-banner { position: fixed; bottom: 0; left: 0; padding: 16px 16px 16px 32px; width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; background: red; color: white; font-family: -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol"; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13px; } #nojs-banner a { color: inherit; text-decoration: underline; } This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts