Dodge Charger EV Loses $50K in Value After Just 1 Year, Bringing Total Worth to -$25K
Bank Says Not to Worry Since Loan Was Only 30% APR
AUBURN HILLS—Stellantis officials are urging owners of the all-new Dodge Charger EV not to panic after multiple valuation reports confirmed the vehicle has lost over $50,000 in value after just one year on the road, bringing its estimated total worth to approximately negative $25,000.
Financial analysts say the figure technically means owners will have to pay someone else to take the e-muscle car off their hands, a situation experts are describing as “still less embarrassing than driving it.”
“We’ve never really seen anything like this,” said automotive analyst Brian Keller while staring at a graph that was just a big red arrow pointing down. “Normally depreciation bottoms out at some point. The Charger EV doesn’t have a bottom.”
According to Kelley Blue Book, depreciation accelerated rapidly after owners realized they could not beat the poser allegations due to the vehicle’s fake exhaust noises.
“People expect tire smoke, loud V8 noises, and takeovers,” explained Charger EV owner Tyler Ramirez, who now reportedly owes $97,000 on a vehicle valued somewhere between “a used mousetrap” and “a student loan for a degree you didn’t finish.” “Instead it just makes this weird whistle, almost like a whine, when it drives. I checked Carvana at lunch and somehow it lost another three grand in value.”
Dealerships nationwide are also struggling to move existing inventory, with some reportedly offering loans with only 15% APR, prepaid gas cards, and Roblox gift cards with purchase.
“One customer asked if we’d take his Charger EV on trade,” said Dodge salesman Marcus Lee. “I got him to pay me $20,000 to take it. Honestly, he came out ahead on that deal.”
Banks financing the vehicles insist the situation remains under control.
“People are focusing too much on the depreciation,” said loan officer Denise Harper. “What really matters is the customer already signed the paperwork and we’re going to make our money no matter what.”