White House Cabinet Accidentally Attends Drifting Event After Confusing the Letters ‘G’ and ‘D’

Sources confirm they brought briefcases handcuffed to their hands.

LONG BEACH—What was supposed to be another routine evening of typical White House business turned sideways when Trump’s cabinet mistakenly showed up at a drifting competition after confusing the letters “G” and “D” on their calendars.

Expecting to add a few million to their net worth, the officials arrived in tailored suits, sunglasses, and briefcases handcuffed to their wrists. Instead, they were greeted by a cloud of tire smoke and a Nissan 240SX bouncing off the limiter.

“At first they thought we were the people they were cutting a deal with,” said one event organizer. “Then they tried handing over the briefcases to a guy in a slammed Miata and just said, ‘Rug pull. You get it, right?’”

Witnesses report the cabinet was very disappointed. One aide was overheard asking Pete Hegseth, “Should I return the keg?”

When confronted about the mix-up, Pam Bondi appeared visibly frustrated. “Look, we’re in power for a limited time,” she said, choking on tire smoke. “If we don’t get richer every single day, we are using the power irresponsibly!”

Critics called the spectacle embarrassing, though attendees admitted it was the most money the cabinet has saved the country all year. “They kept going on and on about crypto,” said a bystander.

The officials eventually left disappointed, realizing the only briefcases exchanging hands at the event were full of Harbor Freight tools.