Waymo #67 Forced to Retire After Failing Written Driving Test for 20th Time
Sources Say It Repeatedly Misses Questions About “Driving” and “Safety”
PHOENIX—Waymo #67 has officially been forced into early retirement after failing its written driving test for the 20th consecutive time, marking what officials are calling “a disappointing but expected outcome for a car.”
According to DMV staff, the vehicle showed confidence going in, reportedly rolling up to the testing center with what one examiner described as “a strong sense of direction, almost like someone was controlling it.”
“It breezed through the ID check,” said examiner Carlos Mendez. “But once we got to the written portion, it just… unraveled. At one point it just stood there, staring at us and blocking other test takers from taking theirs.”
Sources say Waymo #67 struggled particularly with questions involving basic road scenarios, repeatedly failing to identify right-of-way situations and flagging pedestrians as “obtainable points” rather than people.
“Question 12 was about a four-way stop,” Mendez added. “It just sat there. Wouldn’t answer. We thought it shut off, but it turns out it was just stuck.”
Despite multiple attempts, the vehicle showed little improvement. On its 18th try, it reportedly requested an easier exam. On its 19th, it attempted to destroy the DMV entirely. By the 20th, officials say they’d had enough.
Waymo representatives defended the vehicle’s performance, citing the inherent difficulty of standardized testing.
“These exams were designed for humans,” said a company spokesperson. “They rely heavily on interpretation, judgment, and common sense. You don’t need any of those to drive!”
Still, officials maintain that the test itself is not particularly demanding.
“We’re not asking for much,” said Mendez. “Just basic awareness. Recognizing a stop sign. Understanding that you’re in a 2-ton killing machine.”
Fellow vehicles at the testing site expressed mixed reactions, with several Teslas reportedly watching from the parking lot, too scared to even go inside the DMV.
Sources say Waymo #67 has accepted its fate and will spend its retirement being driven around by various people before eventually ending up in a pick-your-part.
DMV officials confirmed that Waymo #67’s retirement will not impact pass rates, as no Waymo vehicle has ever successfully passed the written driving test.