Verstappen Opens Research Institute to Discover How to Race More Than 24 Hours a Day

Four-time champion insists “I want to drive. I need to drive. I have to drive. To survive. ”

AMSTERDAM—Fresh off his latest endurance exploits, Max Verstappen has announced the launch of a state-of-the-art research institute dedicated to one mission: extending the day beyond 24 hours, so he can finally race enough.

“Sure, there’s sleeping, eating, and family,” Verstappen told reporters. “But I want to drive. I need to drive. I have to drive. To survive. Twenty-four hours just isn’t enough. Not enough laps, not enough corners, not enough apexes. I’ve beaten tough competitors before. I will beat Father Time now.”

Staff at the newly founded Chronic, A Chronological Expansion Institute, have been ordered to “find at least one extra hour, each.” Proposed methods include reversing the Earth’s spin, throwing objects through wormholes, and tracking down the real-life Flash.

Not everyone is excited about the idea. “This is terrible,” said Mercedes driver George Russell. “The guy beats me on Saturday, beats me on Sunday, then beats me on iRacing too. He once beat me in a dream I had. Now he’s going to beat me in extra time?”

Teammates and rivals alike have started questioning Verstappen. “I’m convinced he was made in a lab,” said Ferrari’s Charles Leclerc. “I saw him with his eyes open for seventeen straight minutes. On multiple inchidents. He didn’t blink. He just whispered corner names. He was racing.”

Verstappen remains determined despite skepticism from the world's leading scientists. “If we can find a 25th, 27th, or even 50th hour, I’ll finally get the chance to be good enough,” he declared mid interview while starting another sim race.