SÃO PAULO—After starting at P21 and finishing on the podium at the São Paulo Grand Prix this weekend, Verstappen is ready to see the Formula 1 grid expand due to how frustratingly easy it has been for him to podium.
“They keep calling me an alien, but they keep treating me like a human,” said the Dutch driver. “I’ve done everything you can in this sport. I have my own song. It’s time they add a Legendary Mode to this game. They’re all just playing around out here. There’s only so many piece-of-cake podiums I can put up with.”
It’s true that Formula 1 is considered the elite of the elite drivers of the world, but it’s clear there’s an opportunity to make things at least a little less easy for the true aliens, or in this case, just for Verstappen. The FIA has considered many options but cannot confirm if it’s worth the investment.
“We have spent what feels like decades making things more challenging for Verstappen, with penalties, regulation changes, and fines, but he can’t be stopped. Maybe throwing more drivers at him is the answer, but is it worth it? He’s almost going to retire, right?” said FIA President Mohammed Ben Sulayem. “What? He’s only 29? He’s been here foreverrrrr. I have a whole other decade with this guy?!”
Max’s ability to end up on the podium regardless of position, as if almost by gravitational pull, seems built into the laws of physics, but maybe we just aren’t searching for competition hard enough? Sure, Kimi Antonelli seems to have started his journey as the future of Formula 1, but so far we’ve limited ourselves to drivers on planet Earth.
But there is good news. A fan petition with millions of signatures has driven Formula 1 and the FIA to expand their talent search beyond Earth. Early discussions have been difficult due to extraterrestrial drivers speaking a unique version of Dutch.
Max has stated he can help translate during the off-season.