Top 3 Greatest Cars of All Time
Automotive experts agree the list was “The easiest decision they've ever had to make.”
RIVERSIDE—After decades of forum debates, boring Cars & Coffee discussions, and a man named Jon insisting it’s actually the E36 M3, automotive historians have finally agreed on the top three greatest cars ever built.
Geo Metro
The first spot goes to the Geo Metro because it makes every drive feel like qualifying. With the absolute power output of a cordless drill, drivers get to redline the car just to keep pace with the dogs being walked, creating speed, danger, and personal achievement previously thought impossible in single-digit horsepower.
“You floor it everywhere,” said owner Miguel Alvarez. “I’ve never felt more alive going 18 mph!”
Geo Metro
The second-best car of all time earns its place thanks to unmatched public appeal. Every drive becomes an event. Pedestrians point. Other drivers stare. Children laugh. All of them notice.
“Don’t get it if you want to blend in,” Alvarez added. “This is a car for those that like the life of a celebrity. I don’t know what it is, but people point at me constantly. They often laugh in amazement.”
Geo Metro
Rounding out the list is the only car scientifically proven to be theft-proof. Alvarez recently left his Metro running outside a 7-Eleven for 27 hours. When he returned, the car was still there, still idling, and had consumed only four ounces of fuel.
“It’s impossible to buy this kind of security,” he said. “When you think greatest car ever, you think of something no one wants to steal.”
Experts say the Geo Metro’s combination of speed perception, incessant attention, and total criminal disinterest cements its legacy.
“Greatness isn’t about horsepower,” one analyst concluded. “It’s about stepping up to the challenge. And nobody is more challenged than a Metro driver.”