There’s No Decency Anymore—Back in the Day, Cars Wore Bras

Lawmakers now considering “automotive modesty standards” as exposed bumpers spark national concern.

DETROIT—Deeply concerned Facebook commenters are warning that America has lost its sense of decency, pointing to a significant sign of moral decline they saw on a crudely put together Facebook post: cars no longer wear bras.

“Back in my day, we had standards,” said Harold Mitchell, 67, as he clutched his rosary firmly to avoid dropping his cigarette. “The world has gone to hell. Where is the modesty? I don’t even think they sell car bras anymore.”

Car bras were once considered protective and tasteful. Now, critics say, today’s cars shamelessly flaunt their massive grilles without any restraint.

“They’re just out there for the world to see,” Mitchell added. “Dealers bolt on bigger and bigger grilles and no one seems to care.”