Study Finds Average Mailman Delivers 89 Cars Worth of Parts In First Year
Experts Confirm Most Parts Are Eventually Resold on Facebook Marketplace
CORONA—A new study conducted by the Useless Technicals Institute has found that the average mailman delivers approximately 89 cars worth of automotive parts within their first year on the job, a statistic researchers say is “deeply concerning considering none of the cars appear to ever be finished.”
The study, which analyzed over 12 million deliveries made to homes across the nation, found that the overwhelming majority of packages consisted of suspension components, random hoses, cold air intakes, eBay carbon lips, and whatever is popular on Alibaba right now.
Researchers say the findings reveal a thriving circular economy in which enthusiasts continuously buy, store, forget about, and eventually resell the exact same parts to one another for slightly less money.
“We observed one set of coilovers change owners six times in under eighteen months,” said lead researcher Daniel Moreno. “They were sold new all six times.”
According to the report, experienced mail carriers eventually develop the ability to identify specific project phases based solely on package size and weight. Small boxes typically signal the later stages of a build, while large freight deliveries often signal the owner is completely ignoring their credit card balance.
“You can tell when somebody’s build is getting serious,” said USPS employee Marcus Gutierrez, who claims he has personally delivered enough BMW parts to assemble “at least twenty-two E36 M3s.” “First it’s an intake or some cosmetic stuff. Then suddenly you’re carrying a transmission up a driveway while the owner takes a few steps forward like he’s going to help but really wants me to take it most of the way.”
The report also found that many enthusiasts create what researchers describe as “part purgatory,” where components remain unopened in garages for years before eventually reappearing on Facebook Marketplace accompanied by phrases like “brand new, never installed” and “sold the car before I got around to it.”
Experts say the cycle has become so predictable that some mail carriers now monitor local project cars to avoid routes with heavy drivetrain deliveries.
“There’s this one guy on my route with a 240SX,” Gutierrez explained. “Three years ago he ordered a turbo kit, fuel system, standalone ECU, and forged internals. Last week I delivered the same turbo kit again.”
Despite the staggering amount of money being exchanged, researchers confirmed the average project car still spends approximately 94% of its life parked and disassembled.