Straight-Piped VQ Booed Off Stage at Karaoke Night
Audience begged for mercy as it sustained a note painful to all life within a five-mile radius
LOS ANGELES—What began as a routine karaoke night ended in panic Tuesday after a straight-piped VQ was booed off stage for sustaining a single, uninterrupted note that witnesses described as a “poisonous trombone.”
According to attendees, the incident occurred moments after the host called the next performer, at which point the VQ allegedly entered at full volume, immediately overpowering the backing track, the PA system, and several conversations happening three blocks away.
“At first we thought someone was being murdered,” said one patron, speaking through gauze stuffed into his left nostril. “Then it just… kept going. No lyrics. Just suffering.”
Multiple audience members reported immediate ear drum ruptures, while others experienced spontaneous nosebleeds as the note settled into what experts later described as “the exact frequency that make normal people cringe to death.” Witnesses say glasses rattled, a decorative mirror cracked, and a chorus of dogs began barking.
The karaoke host reportedly attempted to cut the microphone before realizing the sound was just as loud and obnoxious without the sound system.
In a brief statement released later that night, venue management wanted to confirm they had no idea and the equipment was not at fault. “Venue confirms sound system was functioning normally,” the statement read. “We regret to inform guests that what they experienced was what that shit actually sounds like.”
Emergency responders confirmed several audience members were transported to local hospitals for precautionary evaluation, citing temporary hearing loss, migraines, and “car enthusiast related trauma.” All are expected to recover, though doctors warned some patients may permanently flinch at sight of a Nissan.
The VQ owner, meanwhile, remained unapologetic.
“It sounds better in person,” he said, defending the performance while scrolling through Alibaba on his phone.