Safety Car Issues Apology for Not Arriving at Abu Dhabi GP On Time, Says It Overslept
Drive to Survive producers state they “should have set two alarms” because they depend on it.
ABU DHABI—Formula 1’s Safety Car issued a rare public apology this morning after failing to arrive on time for the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, explaining it had “accidentally overslept” following what it described as “a long year of helping Lando win the Championship.”
“I usually get up early, have a light stretch, warm up the tires, mentally prepare to ruin at least one driver’s race,” the Safety Car said. “But I just didn’t hear my alarm. One snooze turned into four, and suddenly everyone’s panicking because I’m not on the grid.”
The delay caused confusion not only in Race Control but inside the Drive to Survive film crew, who admit they depend on the Safety Car for viewership spikes.
“We rely on that thing,” said producer Claudia Stevens. “Every time the race gets boring, it saves us. Honestly, we should have set two alarms. Maybe three.”
According to officials, the Safety Car was still in its garage at the scheduled start time, wearing what witnesses described as “weird pajamas.” Attempts to wake it via radio failed when stewards realized it had every device set to Do Not Disturb.
“We were watching the race thinking, why is this so smooth and fair,” said FIA communications officer Dan Sheppard. “Then we remembered we hadn’t seen the Safety Car clock in today.”
Max Verstappen shrugged. “The Safety Car has never helped me, so why does it matter? It definitely didn’t help me in 2021.”
Lando Norris, however, seemed deeply unsettled, unable to get a word out behind a wall of tears that could only be interpreted as extreme sadness about the Safety Car oversleeping and not him winning the Driver’s Championship.
The Race Director attempted to send the Medical Car, but it immediately declined. “No thanks,” it said. “That’s above my pay grade. I don’t need that hate online.”
The Safety Car insists the incident will not happen again.