Ricciardo Ditches Cups in Retirement, Serves All Beverages in a Shoey
Says it's better for the environment and scientists should “do more shoey research.”
PERTH—Former F1 driver Daniel Ricciardo has officially ditched cups in retirement, announcing that every beverage he consumes, from champagne to chocolate milk, is served exclusively in one of his well-worn race boots.
“It’s all about sustainability,” Ricciardo explained, swirling a frothy mixture inside a size 10 boot. “People talk about recycling, reducing waste… but no one thinks to just eliminate cups entirely. Scientists should honestly do more shoey research.”
Ricciardo’s eco-friendly drink method has reportedly inspired a growing movement among fans. Restaurants across Australia and parts of Europe are now offering “shoey pairings” with dinner menus, though local health inspectors have already failed these establishments under existing health codes, and they rarely ever get over 2 stars on Yelp.
Doctors are urging caution. “Medically speaking, this is incredibly stupid,” said Dr. Linda Cruz of the Useless Technicals Institute. “But they all keep smiling. Maybe we should test it. Ricciardo hasn’t looked sad in years, and maybe it has to do with the shoey.”
Ricciardo insists the ritual is not just about the environment, but about performance. “I’m a high performance athlete,” he said. “Athletes sweat. Sweat, baby. Ki ki ki, ra, sweat sweat.”
Friends are grossed out as Ricciardo’s shoey habit expands beyond the podium. “He pours orange juice into his race boot during breakfast,” said one concerned friend. “I’ve never even seen him rinse it out. He just puts it back on and pours something else in it later.”
Genuine certified doctors may disagree on any medical benefits, but while others seek enlightenment through mindfulness or therapy, Ricciardo has found a way to continuously heal his sole, one shoey at a time.