MEXICO CITY—We haven’t even made it to qualifying yet, and Ocon has already logged a DNF in Mexico. Although the actual reason has not been revealed, some tense exchanges are believed to be the reason for Haas replacing Ocon with Ryo Hirakawa for the remainder of the Mexican Grand Prix. Ocon, clearly rocked by the news, looked for the only real solution when in Mexico City: a party, a championship party.
“Whoop-de-doo, I don’t get to score points this weekend. I don’t need Haas,” said the now unceremoniously fired Ocon. “You know what I do need? A party in Mexico. You boys been to Mexico? Kimi is throwing a banger after he wins it this weekend.”
It’s clear the millionaire F1 driver is completely broken by the news that he has lost his seat, and it’s up for debate whether a championship-level alcohol buffet is an appropriate solution in his sensitive state. The only thing working in his favor is that Kimi is 20 years old, and that is the only correct solution when you’re 20.
“I haven’t won yet, so I don’t want to jinx it, but I did give him the location for a party I saw on a flyer on the way in,” said the potential youngest world champion, Antonelli. “If I do win, I will send someone over to pick him up and take him to the real afters. Maybe.”
Ocon has taken a major risk in rage-quitting his seat at Haas, which takes him further away from becoming a world champion. But maybe, through some osmosis, attending a world champion’s party will finally give him the shot he’s been looking for: a shot at being world champion.
But more likely, a final year as a reserve driver for another non-contending team so he can attend future world champion parties.