MK4 Supra Rents Supermarket to Fulfill Dream of Shopping Like a Normal Person
The Supra says it just wants one peaceful aisle without someone yelling “IS THAT A SUPRA?”
LOS ANGELES—We caught up with the MK4 Supra in an emotional interview. The fourth-generation Toyota Supra revealed that it recently rented out an entire supermarket in order to experience what it calls “a normal, quiet shopping trip like the regulars get.”
“For decades I’ve wanted to walk into a store, pick out fruit, compare cereal prices, maybe roll slowly past the bakery, without someone sprinting toward me screaming,” the MK4 said. “But the moment I leave the garage it’s always the same. Phones out. Shaky breathing. Grown adults pointing like they’ve just seen Godzilla. The lizard not the Nissan.”
The Supra admitted that fame has taken a toll it never anticipated in the 90s. “I didn’t ask to become a meme,” it said, staring at a wall of canned tuna with a smile. “I didn’t ask to be shouted at in public. I didn’t ask for people to tune me to thousands of horsepower. The new generation is already here and the paparazzi won’t leave me alone.”
Toyota reportedly arranged the private supermarket session after the iconic coupe expressed exhaustion from being recognized everywhere it drove. Engineers had this to say about the experience: “But it’s a car…”
Creating this experience was far from simple. “We kept telling it to relax and try buying groceries like a normal customer,” said Toyota spokesperson Daniel Umeda. “But halfway through, it froze and whispered ‘They’re coming. I can feel it in my turbos. They’re close. I know they’re going to jump out any second.’ This is deep conditioning we’re dealing with.”
Employees claim the MK4 slowly pushed a cart through each aisle, occasionally pausing to savor the unfamiliar quiet. “It even tried the free sample station and got emotional,” said store manager Reiko Matsumoto. “It kept saying, ‘Is this what my life would be like if I wasn’t in the Fast and the Future?’”
The MKV tried to offer support but mostly sounded jealous. “It rented out a whole store? Must be nice,” it said. “I can’t go anywhere without being called a BMW.”
As for the MK4, it remains hopeful that one day it can shop publicly without causing a stampede. “I just want to buy produce without being treated like an object,” it said. “I’m nuts and bolts like everyone else. Just let me live.”