Local Man Wins Acts of Courage Award for Drilling Front License Plate Into Sports Car
Experts classify act as “beyond brave, bordering on heroic. Superheroic even.
CORONA—In a ceremony that left onlookers equal parts inspired and nauseated, local man Daniel Ruiz has been awarded the prestigious Acts of Courage medal by the Useless Technicals Institute (UTI) after drilling a front license plate directly into the bumper of his sports car.
The moment, described by witnesses as “viscerally painful to watch,” has already been compared to storming the beaches of Normandy or volunteering for experimental dentistry. Ruiz reportedly paused several times during the drilling process, visibly trembling as the bit bit into pristine factory paint.
“He was crying, openly crying,” said neighbor Linda Vasquez. “But that did not disqualify him. If anything, it made it more powerful. It showed vulnerability. Real courage is not about not crying. It is about crying and still drilling through fiberglass.”
UTI officials defended their decision. “This goes beyond bravery,” said selection committee chair Robert Chang. “It is superheroic. Most people would buy a tow hook mount or risk a fix-it ticket. Daniel sacrificed his car’s resale value for the law. That is valor. That is the kind of courage UTI exists to recognize.”
The crowd at the ceremony, however, was less unified. A group of Porsche and Corvette owners fainted when footage of the act was replayed on the big screen, while others turned away, clutching their microfiber towels like rosaries.
Ruiz accepted the medal with humility, though his speech was punctuated by long, shuddering sobs. “I did not do this for the recognition,” he said, voice cracking. “I did it so my state would not charge me $180. Sometimes, we have to make sacrifices for freedom.”
Critics argue the award sets a dangerous precedent. “What is next, giving someone a medal for putting bumper stickers on a Ferrari?” asked car club president Javier Ortiz. “At some point, society has to draw the line.”
For now, Ruiz remains both celebrated and cursed. He plans to mount the medal on the same bumper where the plate sits, a permanent reminder that courage sometimes comes in the form of two crooked holes drilled four inches apart. The Useless Technicals Institute has vowed to continue recognizing acts of courage nobody asked for.