LONG BEACH—Local man Don Verez thought he’d save some money and perform his own alignment before his next track day. What he thought was a simple mechanism of cheap conduit, string, and 3D-printed clamps quickly turned into a nightmare that lasted for days. The fact that he’s alive is a miracle recognized by anyone who knows his level of intelligence.
“It looked so easy on YouTube,” said the now-free Verez, with indentations from the strings still visible on his oil-stained skin. “I bought a string alignment kit, put it together, set up the strings, and next thing I knew I was trapped in a web of my own making. I readjusted my toe four times trying to get free, but not the one you think.”
Verez spent days in his garage just lying there, somehow bound in the strings that were meant to prepare his race car. He called out for someone to help, but everyone was too distracted to notice.
“I did think I heard someone yelling at some point, but I was watching this reel of a dog bringing a guy a beer,” said his roommate Carl Valens. “Can you believe that? Did you know you could train a dog to do that?”
Law enforcement was shocked no one discovered the trapped Verez, considering he was just 20 feet away from most of his roommates. Then they interviewed each of them and realized it made a lot of sense.
“I noticed he wasn’t cussing or opening beers anymore, and that’s not like him,” said another roommate, Cris Curie. “Then we noticed no one had taken out the trash, and that’s Don’s job. He forgot the last two weeks too. So we called the cops on him.”
The roommates’ obvious and genuine concern spared Verez’s life, allowing him to race another day, but one has to wonder whether he will complete the alignment or just take it to the track with a shitty setup.
One thing Verez says is for sure, he will not be paying someone to do the alignment for him because he already bought the kit.
That would be a waste of time.