Lance Stroll Just 333 Points Away from Winning WDC

Analysts say he only needs a few cheating scandals, some retirements, and everyone to forget how to drive entirely.

SAO PAULO — Aston Martin’s Lance Stroll is hoping to stay within reach of the World Drivers’ Championship, trailing by just 333 points heading into the final rounds of the season.

While the odds are not zero, they’re pretty much the same as they were at the start of the season. Stroll insists he’s “feeling confident.” “All it takes is a few bad weekends for everyone,” he said with incredible confidence. “Maybe a rule change, some disqualifications, a meteor, whatever it takes. My dad has some money.”

Team principal Mike Krack echoed the optimism, though with the dead eyes of a man who’s definitely already lost. “We’re still pushing,” Krack said. “If the grid retires, three teams get banned for cheating, and Lance wins literally every race from now, we can get close. It’s what keeps us going. Do you know if we got paid today?”

Even Fernando Alonso, his veteran teammate, seemed supportive, if you count sarcastic smirking as support. “Mathematically, it’s over,” Alonso said. “But if I can date Taylor Swift, then it’s not impossible. Just unlikely.”

A single fan online has rallied behind Stroll’s campaign, creating the viral hashtag #BelieveIn333 to celebrate his heroic delusion. “He’s the people’s underdog,” said Canadian fan Marco Duarte. “Every time I see his points total, I’m reminded that he’s definitely an underdog.”

Despite the unlikelihood, Stroll remains upbeat. “You can’t count me out,” he said. “The math does, but you can’t.”