International Council of Car Enthusiasts Rules You No Longer Have to Pretend to Enjoy Working on Cars
New guidelines clarify that liking cars, driving cars, and spending money on cars satisfy the requirements, even if you wrenches give you nightmares.
GENEVA—The International Council of Car Enthusiasts announced sweeping reforms this week, officially ruling that individuals are no longer required to pretend they enjoy working on cars in order to qualify as “real” car enthusiasts.
The decision follows decades of mounting evidence that the majority of the car community has been lying about enjoying the time they spend working on cars anyway.
“For too long, people felt pressured to say things like ‘Built not bought’ when what they really meant was ‘I love making my car driveable without having to pay someone to do it,’” said council chairperson Henrik Löfström while unveiling the new guidelines. “You don’t have to lie anymore.”
Under the updated standards, activities such as driving, modifying, obsessively researching car parts, and saying “I’ll get to it this weekend” every weekend now carry equal enthusiast weight as hands-on garage work. The council emphasized that being sick of seized bolts, pulling transmissions on your back, and the smell of diff fluids does not revoke their car enthusiast card.
The ruling let out a collective sigh of relief across garages worldwide. “I’ve been lying for years,” admitted local enthusiast Daniel Ruiz. “I hate working on cars. I love having a car that works. I thought something was wrong with me because I don’t find joy in laying on cold concrete. I thought I was a poser.”
Purists argue the change is making the car community soft. “If you don’t suffer, you don’t belong,” said longtime gatekeeper and very serious forum moderator Mike Talbot. “The misery is part of it. That’s how you earn the right to drive your car through the drive-thru and open the door because the windows don’t work yet.”
The council was dismissive, noting that most vocal purists secretly outsource major repairs while continuing to claim full credit. “This ruling lets you be honest with yourself,” Löfström said.
Additional clarifications released alongside the decision confirm that:
Owning tools you used once still counts
Watching a build breakdown on YouTube counts
Saying “shops charge too much” while secretly paying them still counts