WASHINGTON D.C.—As agents continue to swarm peaceful family communities doing no harm to anyone, the agency has been focused on making it easier for boots to hit the ground. It has chosen to improve its vehicles with a standard-issue steering wheel meant to improve steering feel, reduce driver fatigue, and better reflect the values at the center of its continuously escalating efforts.
“We’ve spent millions of dollars developing this carbon-composite steering wheel to help our agents operate more efficiently,” said Director David Ventella. “Every time we go somewhere, people get upset for some reason, so we needed to improve our agents’ ability to ignore the Constitution safely.”
The new steering wheel features a lightweight four-spoke design, weighs just two ounces, and includes deep white grooves at each quadrant to promote faster handling during aggressive acceleration towards and from people on foot. ICE described the space-grade component as one of the most aerodynamic steering wheels they’ve ever felt in a rental SUV.