Grassroots Racer Wins Mega Millions Jackpot, Giving Him Just Enough to Cover a Full Half Season of Racing
The Blind Apex Podcast host advises all grassroots racers to win the lottery as part of their racing program.
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NORTH CAROLINA—Grassroots racer and podcast host Kaan Canturk has implemented a fascinating program strategy by winning the Mega Millions jackpot, securing $119 million, or just enough funding to cover what experts have calculated as about a “full half season” of racing.
Canturk, known as the charismatic host of The Blind Apex Podcast, has often educated tens of people that the best advice for operating a grassroots racing program is “win a small fortune in a state-sanctioned lottery.” Now he has put his money where his microphoned mouth is by following his own guidance to the letter.
“I told my listeners this was the only real path to financial stability in motorsports,” Canturk said at a makeshift podium in the middle of the VIR paddock. “I didn’t think anyone would actually do it, but I had to prove it was possible.”
Between entry fees, fuel, consumables, and catastrophic yet completely unnecessary “upgrades,” economists confirm Canturk’s $119 million will barely cover six races. “Grassroots racing makes pyramid schemes look like great investments,” said motorsport analyst Linda Meyer. “Even with a Mega Millions win, the best-case scenario is that Kaan makes it to midseason before auctioning off his podcast microphones to fund brake pads.”
Listeners of The Blind Apex expressed mixed feelings. “On one hand, it proves he was right all along,” said long-time fan Jon Perez. “On the other, it means I have to keep listening to his podcast. Since he’s right and all. Dang.”
Canturk’s family is less impressed. “He could’ve bought a house, retired, anything,” sighed his car-hating cousin James. “Instead, he bought a flatbed trailer, pre-paid for six sets of Hoosiers, and signed up for races at VIR. He’s just delaying bankruptcy at this point.”
Even lottery officials are confused. “We’ve seen winners blow money on yachts and sports teams,” said Mega Millions spokesperson David Lang. “But this is the first time we’ve seen someone win and lose $119 million. Maybe he can get more money from the Guinness World Record people.”
Canturk remains optimistic, however. “Money comes and goes, but the memories of running mid-pack in a Spec Honda race last forever,” he said, smiling. “Retirement is postponed for now. But I’ll just go win it again if I need to retire.”
Canturk’s story stands as proof that the best career advice in grassroots racing you’ll get is from a podcast. So just go buy some lottery tickets and make sure you win millions. Easy half season right there.
Obligatory: This is not financial advice. (you idiots.)