FreeTaxUSA Offers to Deposit Your Tax Return Directly to Your Favorite Car Brands
Company says it’s “getting rid of the Turbo Tax so you can buy more car parts!”
WASHINGTON—Industry experts are calling it the most significant innovation of the last century, as FreeTaxUSA announced that customers can now deposit their tax refunds directly into participating car parts retailers, bypassing the time-wasting bank account deposit and checkout process entirely.
“We purchased decades of data,” said a FreeTaxUSA spokesperson. “Every March, thousands of customers receive a refund and within 48 hours it is transformed into coilovers, something carbon fiber, or getting scammed into buying a ‘Stage 2’ of something. Since we’re letting you keep more of your refund, we decided to help those people out.”
Under the new program, users can select “Direct Deposit: Car Enthusiast Option” and choose from a full list of automotive brands. Funds will automatically convert into car parts before the user has any time to reconsider, consult their family, or think about savings or bills.
Meanwhile, industry rival TurboTax continues to offer what it calls “premium filing experiences,” which mostly consists of clicking for two straight hours before being charged $189 and then upsold something called “Extreme Maximum Defense.”
Early adopters of the feature say they’ve already saved thousands of hours.
“I used to tell myself I’d save the refund and send it to the bank,” said local BMW owner Javier Perez, staring proudly at a poorly maintained E36 with brand new wheels. “But this way, I don’t have to waste time searching for parts, going through checkout processes, or looking for my wallet. It’s basically given me back my life.”
FreeTaxUSA confirmed the feature includes a helpful disclaimer reminding users to be responsible with their money, accompanied by a pop-up that reads: Are you sure you want to spend this money on your cool ass car that will look even cooler if you select yes?
The company insists it is not encouraging financial irresponsibility, but rather helping car enthusiasts all over the country keep more of their money pit growing.