Ford Uses Robotic Butt to Simulate 10 Years of Seat Wear Since Your Mom Wasn’t Available

Ford Engineers Say “Robutt” Can Replicate the Same Extreme Pressure, Friction, and Colossal Structural Fatigue as Yo Momma.

DEARBORN—Ford has officially unveiled a new robotic testing device named “Robutt,” a state-of-the-art machine designed to simulate over a decade of seat wear in just a few weeks after engineers confirmed “your mom declined to partner with us.”

The machine, which consists of a massive robotic lower torso repeatedly entering, exiting, shifting around, and aggressively compressing vehicle seats thousands of times per day, is reportedly capable of replicating the same extreme pressure, friction, and colossal structural fatigue typically only observed “when your mom borrows my car for a weekend.”

“We needed something capable of producing truly catastrophic cushion degradation under controlled conditions,” said Ford senior durability engineer Marcus Ellison while standing beside the hydraulic monstrosity as it violently hammered the driver seat of a Ford Explorer. “At first we explored traditional stress simulations, but nothing we had could replicate the destructive force of your mom specifically.”