MADRID—Lando Norris has potentially put an enormous hole in the wallets of his sponsors after committing the greatest sin in all of sports: drinking something because you want it and not because it’s making you money. The World Champion seems to have let his winning status make him forget that his own desires aren’t important enough to come before profits.
Lando Norris finished third at the Spanish Grand Prix and, in the cooldown room after the race, decided to boldly reach for the world-famous beverage instead of a bottle of water made to look like his special-edition Monster. Someone off-screen, looking only to protect the pockets of their rich CEO, advised Norris against this, to which Norris replied, “I just did a race. So I’m allowed to drink what I would like. Thank you so much.” His politeness somehow adding further to the loss in profits.
“That one drink means my boss won’t be able to get a support yacht for his main yacht,” said the off-camera objector under anonymity due to fear of being fired for failing to take away Norris’ can of Coke. “But there’s no getting through to them. They are divas and have no idea how their actions impact greater society. If we are prevented from lining our pockets, then how are we supposed to make trickle-down economics work?”
Other drivers have started to see Norris’ actions as a sort of protest, joining in to start a movement and rebel against the corporate oppressors that help pay their millionaire salaries. Lance Stroll has been seen drinking Capri Suns in the paddock. Unfortunately, due to a lack of victories or impressive driving, cameras aren’t really capturing him and profits remain unaffected.
It’s unclear how many hundreds of dollars these CEOs have lost because a driver decided to have himself a post-race treat, but if this trend continues, it’s possible Formula 1’s valuation as a whole could collapse from multi-billion dollars to slightly less multi-billion dollars.