DoorDash Hires Grassroots Race Car Drivers to Reduce Delivery Times
Company confirms “seat time” now preferred over clean background checks.
LONG BEACH—DoorDash announced this week it has ramped up recruiting efforts specifically with grassroots race car drivers in an effort to reduce delivery times, citing their “incessant and potentially unhealthy relationship with seat time” as a key asset.
According to internal documents, the pilot program targets track-day regulars, time-attack drivers, and anyone who is irresponsible enough with money to choose racing as a hobby. Applicants are reportedly fast-tracked if they own a helmet, say the phrase “There’s more time in it, but my tires have too many heat cycles on them,” or have argued online about optimal suspension settings for Laguna Seca.
“These people are desperate for race car money,” said DoorDash logistics manager Karen Patel. “This gives them some extra cash while giving us faster delivery times we can exploit. It’s a win-win for everyone.”
Drivers selected for the program are not explicitly encouraged to apply track logic to urban delivery routes, but they are not NOT encouraged. This includes trail braking in cul-de-sacs, apexing roundabouts, and ignoring parking lines in grocery store parking lots.
“I’ve shaved six minutes off the average delivery time just by applying my track day knowledge,” said pilot driver Chris Moreno, who races a gutted Honda Civic on weekends. “There’s an optimal line, and they finally hired drivers that can find it.”
DoorDash reports mixed feedback from customers. While food now arrives significantly faster, many orders show up slightly colder than usual, aggressively bunched into a corner of the box, and the drink is half full. Surprisingly, the tofu always shows up untouched.
“One guy handed me my burrito and said, ‘It might be wider than it is long, but it got here faster,’” said customer Megan Lewis. “I didn’t know what that meant, but I opened my burrito and it was a certified chode.”
DoorDash insists safety remains a priority, the third priority, noting all participating drivers are required to promise they’ll coast on the straights.