As Oil Prices Surge, Drivers Turn to Brita to ‘Refine’ Motor Oil
Experts warn results may vary, but enthusiasts admit “Yeah, but have you seen crude oil prices?”
TEL AVIV—As crude oil prices continue to climb under what analysts are generously calling “a series of very intentional and stupid decisions,” car enthusiasts across the country are reportedly taking matters into their own hands by refining used motor oil using household Brita filters.
The trend, which began as a post on the r/frugal subreddit with three likes, has quickly evolved into a widely used “cost-effective alternative” to traditional oil changes, leaving places like AutoZone and O’Reilly’s looking like ghost towns.
“It’s literally the same concept,” said Marcos Herrera, who claims to have extended the life of his 5W-30 by “at least another 3,000 miles” after running it through a Brita pitcher twice. “Crude oil gets refined, right? This is basically a refiner… just smaller. Like brewing coffee by the cup. Plus, it came out way clearer. There’s barely any metal in it. That’s how you know.”
According to a recent study conducted by the Useless Technicals Institute, 64% of respondents who attempted the process reported “significant visual improvement” in their oil, while 0% could explain why their check engine lights were on all of a sudden.
“We found that participants placed all their trust in clarity,” said lead researcher Dr. Elena Ruiz. “At no point did anyone ask about viscosity, thermal breakdown, or contamination. If it looked less like coffee and more like apple juice AND saved them money, they were ready to put it back in the car.”
Despite warnings from big oil who clearly is just trying to make more money off us, the practice has gained traction as oil prices continue to rise, leaving many drivers feeling cornered.
“I know it’s probably not ideal,” admitted James Aventura, who recently filtered four quarts of used oil through a Brita he borrowed from his roommate. “But when oil changes are pushing $80 at Jiffy Lube, you start asking yourself what’s really necessary. Clean-looking oil feels necessary.”
Automotive professionals, however, have been quick to push back against the trend.
“This is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever seen,” said Target executive Daniel McDonald. “The best idea is for you to come into Target and buy oil so I can continue to justify my useless position and the person we donated a bunch of money to. Just drive less, eat less, and work more. It’s easy.”
Still, many enthusiasts remain steadfast, pointing instead to the broader economic climate as justification.
“Look, I didn’t wake up one day and think, ‘I want to filter motor oil through a kitchen appliance,’” said Herrera. “But when the people in charge keep pushing prices higher, eventually you adapt. And I’m not going to stop driving.”
Several Brita users reported minor issues including engine knocking, loss of oil pressure, and what one driver described as “a new and exciting smell,” though most agreed that they are saving “Hella cash” and the world is “Ending anyway.”