America’s Best-Selling Truck Under Threat After White House Finds Out It’s Been Dubbed the “Mexican GT-R”
ICE officials scrambling to figure out how to arrest trucks that are Ford Tough.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Ford F-150, long hailed as America’s best-selling truck, has come under completely expected and unsurprising scrutiny this week after White House officials reportedly discovered modified, supercharged Ford F-150 trucks with 5.0 Coyotes have been dubbed: the “Mexican GT-R.”
According to insiders, the revelation came during a late-night Fox News watching session when an intern pulled up the Formula Bean YouTube channel explaining the mind-blowing performance of the Whipple-supercharged F-150 monsters. The room reportedly went silent—then collectively salivated at the thought of deporting something so useful that was doing no harm to anybody.
“This is a national security issue,” said Secretary of War and Fatty Hater Pete Hegseth, wiping Big Mac sauce off Trump’s tie. “If Americans start believing the Mexican GT-R is superior to our local, homegrown, good ol’ boys’ truck, we could lose control of the country. Do you realize how hard it is to explain to voters that a Mexican is gapping Corvettes? It’s un-American.”
ICE officials have since been scrambling to draft new protocols—not roadside dyno checks or thorough inspections, but more along the lines of just looking at the truck and making a decision based on vibes. One leaked memo suggested agents should focus on trucks that “look Mexican.”
Truck owners, however, remain unfazed. “I don’t care what the White House says,” declared Javier Morales, proudly leaning against his Whipple-charged F-150. “This thing makes 750 horsepower and still tows my cousin’s taco cart. That’s freedom, baby. They can’t deport us if they can’t catch us anyway.”
Ford Motor Company has remained cautious, issuing a statement they hope won’t hurt sales: “We do not officially endorse the term ‘Mexican GT-R.’ However, we would like to remind customers that the F-150 can gap any black-and-white Charger.”
Political analysts warn getting rid of America’s most hardworking truck could cause irreparable harm to the economy for decades to come. “They do realize it’s not actually Mexican, right?” asked policy expert Linda Guzmán. “If Washington tries to police this, the only people who suffer are the working class, the farmers, and tradesmen. Then what? Deport the Japanese GT-R too?”
As of press time, ICE agents reportedly attempted to detain a white F-150 outside a Whataburger but were left humiliated when the truck turned out to be an EcoBoost. Officials are considering reclassifying the vehicle as a “domestic terrorist threat,” though insiders admit the odds of catching one are slim.