Alex Palou Throws Out SIM Rig, Orders Duck Hunt After Second IndyCar Win by Pato O’Ward

“Whatever I’m doing now is not working. But as soon as I get the dog to stop laughing at me, it’s on.”

TORONTO—Undertaking a significantly pixelated strategy, IndyCar champion Alex Palou has decided to abandon traditional sim training and focus entirely on the 1984 Nintendo classic Duck Hunt after suffering two defeats at the hands of Pato O’Ward.

“I tried everything,” Palou said, surrounded by boxes of malfunctioning cartridges and Zapper guns. “iRacing, telemetry, data overlays, even that weird YouTube guy that whispers driving tips ASMR style. Nothing worked. But then it hit me. Maybe I’ve been playing the wrong game this whole time.”

The Spanish driver was last seen furiously blowing into a gray NES cartridge labeled Duck Hunt before yelling “Let’s go!” and slapping the power button with the confidence of a man who is absolutely certain a 40-year-old video game will unlock the ability to defeat Pato.

Palou’s new training regimen includes daily sessions aimed at improving his reflexes, target acquisition, and ability to deal with ridicule.

“That dog really pushes your mental endurance,” he explained. “He laughs at every miss. Just like Pato when he passes me on the track.”

Mechanics close to the team have expressed significant concern. “He told us to stop running sims and instead set up an 'old timey' TV in the hauler,” said one engineer, who is ahead of Palou in the Duck Hunt standings. “He's severely out of breath all the time. He refused to use an emulator. I don't even know how he got a working NES.”

Despite having to constantly blow, Palou is fully committed. He’s developed a multi-stage program simply called “Must Beat Pato,” which includes warm-up rounds of practice shooting, shooting blindfolded, and looking at the IndyCar leaderboards for motivation. “After this, Pato won't even see me coming,” he said. “You think tire degradation matters when you’re beating the game blindfolded?”

When asked if any of this would translate to actual race performance, Palou didn’t blink. “It’s all the same. You have something fast flying across your eyes, you line it up, and hit the apex. Miss once, the duck flies away. Miss too often, and the dog bullies you. That’s just like Sunday.”

Critics have noted that Duck Hunt does not involve any actual driving, tires, or turns of any kind. But Palou remains undeterred. “People say it won't work,” he said while running a Q-tip on a cartridge. “Those people don't have the champion mentality required to beat those ducks.”

Palou is expected to debut his new Duck Hunt-enhanced form at the next IndyCar round. Nobody can say for certain if it will help or not, but at least he's not playing Mortal Kombat.